Bibliography!

i chose to blog it because thats just a simple matter of copy and paste!


Smith, Deb et al. 2006, Chemistry in Use: Book 2, McGraw-Hill, North Ryde, NSW.

Stwertka, Albert. 1998, A Guide to the Elements, Oxford University Press, New York, pg. 99-100.



the second one is the book we borrowed from the library in case you forgot to write it down :)

DEARY DARLINGEST HUBBY!

i only have one question for you! the rest i figured out myself :D

did you work out the equations for Zn + Pb and Zn + Cu??
im thinking just make Zn react with O2 because the white stuff is ZnO and then just do the same for Pb making it PbO2 or whatever it is??

other than that
I AM FINALLY FRICKAN DONEEEEEEEE!!!
for chemisrty anyway.
ive finished english.
physics.. well lets not get me started.
maths.. i hope mr wagner doesnt mind me failing.
and drama. yeah, no.

but at least i shall have chemistry out of the way!

love,
your wifey

The Last Week

There are so many things going on at the moment. Everything is piling up, getting to the very core of you, breaking you down. You crack. You start leaking through the cracks. In essence, you cry. Or you leak through the cracks another way, and you snap at people.

Yesterday I was in the car with my best friend and my dad. Dad said something, something inconsequential that didn’t really matter. And I snapped at him. I totally tore his head off. Why did I do that? Under other circumstances, circumstances that did not include me putting so much pressure on myself, I would have handled it fine. But being under those circumstances I did not. I tell myself that it’s the stress, that’s my excuse. But it shouldn’t be my excuse. I don’t have an excuse for that sort of thing. There is no excuse for being horrible to a person. I need to stop.

I have decided that I don’t want it right now.
Really, I decided that I didn’t want it ages ago.
I suppose I just haven’t had enough time to dwell on this decision, for me to realize that it is how I really and honestly feel.
But now I am just telling you all.
I don’t want it.
And it lifts such a great weight from my shoulders.

Blissfully ignorant.
I chose to be blissfully ignorant. I could have chosen to find out. But I was scared about what I would find. So I was my choice not to know.
So when what I was avoiding was unexpectedly thrust in my face,
It shocked me.
It horrified me.
My world, already not perfect, was shattered and became something far from perfect. I didn’t want to know because I knew it would be bad. But it was worse than what I thought. Far worse.
Trust me, if you don’t know right now, keep it that way. Because not knowing is far better than knowing. And once you know, there is no forgetting.

I guess I did not realize how hard it would be to see your face again.
Just that small blurry picture,
And I was back there again.
I could stay there forever.
I didn’t know what was to come.

The Hammer and the Wig

People don’t know.
People don’t know anything.

The other day, I was talking to someone.
About something that he’d done, that he didn’t want to tell me.

“I’m not sure whether to tell you. I don’t want you to judge me,” he said.
“I wouldn’t judge you,” I replied, “I hate judging people. It’s not fair. It’s not right.”
“No, it isn’t fair to judge someone.” he said.

No, it isn’t.
But we all do it anyway. I don’t think we can help it.
Some people, well they almost deserve to be judged.
No, deserve isn’t the right word. I mean, that how they are judged is how they really are.

But other people, like the man who lived on the street because of trauma, they don’t deserve to get judged.
But they get judged anyway.

You can’t tell who a person is. You do not have a right to judge anyone. Because you don’t know what they are thinking, how their mind works, what situations they have been in before. You are not that person, so you cannot judge them.
The only person you can judge is yourself.
Because only you know yourself inside out, back to front.

Do you like what you see when you look at yourself, your actions, your thoughts?

I've Looked Everywhere

Once again I missed you.
You were sitting right next to me just as you always do.
But you weren’t there.

What have you done with her?
Where did my best friend go?
Whatever you did with her, you didn’t take her properly. Her body was still there. Just her spirit wasn’t.
Why didn’t you take all of her?
If you had of, it would have been less painful. I could at least pretend that she was ok somewhere. But because you left half of her there for me to see that she clearly was not ok. It was horrible, to sit there and watch her corpse and not being able to help her. Was that a punishment to me too? To stop me from being happy when I had only just begun to be so?
It worked.



I remember when she used to be like that, day in, day out. I remember when she wouldn’t remember simple things, when she would drift away to another planet, another planet full of pain. I remember how her eyes looked. I remember how she was hunched, curling into herself as if to make herself smaller. I remember how some things she said and did didn’t make sense. I remember her when she was crazy.



Please God, don’t go back to that. If anything in my life wouldn’t be fair, that would be it. I will not let you go back to that. Because if you did go back to that, I wouldn’t be able to help.

And that would kill me.

You can do it.
You can fucking do it.
If I can do it, then you can.
And I fucking love you.

Just as much as her.

Water & Energy

They are thoughts that I don’t even want to acknowledge, not even here.

So instead I will talk about something else.

I can see the tap, drip, drip, drip.
Not that long ago I would have gotten up to turn the tap off, because it was wasting water.
Not all that long ago, it was truly a miracle if it rained.

When I think about water, I think about pollution.
I think about all the polluted water, water that we can’t use anymore because it’s spoiled.
Did you know that there is a certain amount of water in the world?
And there has been that amount since the day of the big bang, or since God created the earth, whatever you want to believe in. The amount of water here has never changed, and never will be changed.

Matter cannot be created or destroyed.

The water is just constantly going around in a circle; evaporation, condensation, precipitation; it’s a constant cycle, one we all learnt in grade four.

So what happens when we start making some of this water unusable? When we dirty it so much and add so many oils to it that it can no longer be evaporated and used again in the cycle? Effectively we are “destroying” the amount of water on the earth. Because unusable water is no use to anyone, or anything.

There is another thing that there is only a certain amount of on this earth.
Energy.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed.

In the beginning, God only gave us so many thousands of millions of Joules to use and he said, “Use them how you will. But I will never give you the power to either create more, or destroy the ones you already have.”

I wonder how many other things there are in the world of which there is only a certain amount.
I guess in the physical world, there is no such thing as infinity.
Maybe there is no such thing as infinity, full stop.

Just because we haven’t found the end of something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

They say that there is infinity amount of decimal places in pi.
Really?
Or is it just that we haven’t yet found the end?

Just because a person says something is so, doesn’t mean it is.
Who is a human, to propose all of these precise laws about the world?
The more we try to understand, the more we have to understand.

If everything has a beginning and an end, then when is ours?
The more we use everything up, the less time we have to live.