The Weather

The weather was nice today.
Not a cloud in sight.
I can smell summer on the way.


I took my laptop out into the sun today. It was nice. Slight breeze, hot sun, ipod in my ears. Didn’t make doing chemistry any easier. Why is it that the one subject I am literally failing is the one that I cant do? It’s like I have a block on my mind that stops me doing it. But I can’t fail again.

This exam block has gone alright so far. I reckon I did pretty well in English, SOR was pretty good, I didn’t fail maths, drama went alright, physics was probably a fail. Its just chem. Hmppphh.

Less than a week and I’ll be gone from the state, into NSW, and to the beeeeeeach!
I haven’t been to the beach in so long, not since easter last year. It will be so good to hear the waves, feel them pulling you, hear the bubbles in your ears, the sand between your toes, the sun burning you like a crisp, the trees rustling in the breeze.. I could almost be there now.

I just have chem left to go.
Just have chem left to fail.

I should really be more positive. It’s just that I have lost interest. In school. In everything. I know that I shouldn’t. But how can I help it when my brain is like mush? I know what’s done it. And I hate it that it could affect me like this. Why?

Isn’t that always the question?
Why?

God doesn’t need to give us a reason why. He will do things, and it is not our place to question His motives. We need to accept it, let things be. We should not ask him for things either. I shouldn’t. I know he has far more important people out there to care about. I should let Him care for those people and not waste His time with me.


The weather was nice today.


I wont fail. I wont be jealous of her. I have a wonderful husband and two of the most precious gemstones found on this earth. I don’t need you. I need you so much. How can I not be jealous? Why can’t I be happy with what I have? Please don’t let me fail. Why can’t I be happier? Stop me thinking of all of the bad things, the things I don’t have. Or rather, just one of them, the thing that you have, on top of everything else. It’s this time of the year. Why can’t I blame myself instead of everyone else? It’s you I should be hating. Why can’t I hate you? I don’t want to be this selfish. I wish I wasn’t so confused. Why is it that I have to hurt everyone? I don’t want anyone to worry. I can’t give up those things, even for you. I wish I didn’t want what I can’t have. I want to do more to help. Don’t let me give up.


Not a cloud in sight.


nitrate was in the water. The colour of the creek water was closest to the colour saying that there was less than 10mg/L of nitrate in the water, however, it was still quite different. Therefore, it was concluded that there was much less that ten milligrams per litre of nitrate in the water, which is a very small amount. The water was then testedforthepresenceofcommonanions.Itwasfoundthattherewasnosulphateorphosphateinthewater,however,theexperimenthoioeadnvioehuoirnkalsdhfoiuwhelfkndsihvoichdjkrnfoaijsdlknfoaihweoisnfvlknoiahoiskndfla;oslkdjnfvejanfanjksldn vjilahkdslnfkjanbjsd

I don’t know what ive done.
Or if I like what ie become.
But something told me to run,
And honey,
You don’t leave it so I run.

There were sounds in my head,
Little voices whispering.
That I should go and this should end
Oh, and I found myself listening.

Cause I don’t know who I am, who I am without you,
All I know is that I should.
And I don’t know if I can stand another hand upon you,
All I know is that I should.
Cause she will love you more than I could,
She who dares to stand where I stood.

You ask if I need to talk.
Yes, I say.
I always need to talk to you.


I can smell summer on the way.