It's Over. Done. Finished.

So it’s all over now.
Dry your eyes now, baby
‘Cuz its not worth crying over
Anymore
You can’t change it now.

Exams.
Are.
Over.
(For year eleven anyway)

For ten months we have all been slaving away, trying our best to get good marks, so we can end the year with a good report card.

Am I happy with how I’ve done?

Not really.
But then again, I’m the type of person who says that you can never put in 100%. Even if you come first in the Olympic games or whatever, is that you putting in 100%? If you could get that far, what’s stopping you from going further? In terms of effort I believe there is no such thing as doing 100%. Because its impossible to ever find out your full potential. Because in terms of effort, you have no boundaries. No limits.
So it’s impossible for me to say that I’ve put in 100% this year.

But I know that this term at least, ive put in the best possible effort that I could.
But what happens when your best effort just isn’t good enough?
What happens if your best effort only gets you a B+?

This term I’ve done the best I could possibly do.
And yet I still manage to walk out of two exams and burst into tears because I knew that I failed both of them. I’ve never had a worse exam block. Why is it that the exam block that I put the most effort in is the one that ends up being the worst? Every spare moment I have had, I have studied. No msn for me this term. No myspace. No reading. No bike rides on the weekends. No going out. Nothing. All I have done is worked and worked and worked my arse off to get good grades. Every spare moment.
For six weeks my entire life has consisted of: studying, working, school, band, sport, choir, presentation nights and family time which includes the basic living necessities.

Would you believe that in the past three weeks I have had six award presentation nights to attend? That two nights a week, totally gone, for the past three weeks. I’d have to say, fourth term is the hardest. Even though its only six weeks long, you still learn just as much as you do in the other 12 week long terms. Plus on top of that you have all of the end of year preparations to take away even more of your time. So you’re left with maybe a few hours a week to study?
Such is the story of my life.

Sometimes I wonder how much better my marks would be if I didn’t do all of the extra things. If I didn’t do choir or band. If I didn’t do training. If I didn’t have a job. Do you have any idea how much more time I would have if I didn’t do all of those things? If I could have that time to study instead? If I lived right next to the school and got home at 3:30 every afternoon. If I didn’t do anything extra except school work. If I didn’t spend eight hours a week working. If I didn’t have to practice my flute or take an hour and a half to get home from school every afternoon. That would give me roughly 18 more hours a week. To do whatever I wanted. To study.

Some people have that extra 18 hours on top of me. They don’t have a job and don’t do any extra activities. And yet I still manage to get far better marks than them. What would be my best potential then, if I just had the same amount of time that they do? Would I be getting A+ in all of my subjects? I know I probably have the potential to. But I just don’t have the time to achieve that potential. One day I would like to live a week with the normal person’s amount of time to do study. And see what I achieve with that.

But when I think about it I know that I could never give up all of the things that I do. Even though they take up so much of my time, and even though I sometimes don’t even enjoy doing them, I am a stubborn person and I refuse to give up.

So I just want you to know,
That for the amount of time that I have to do study,
I do bloody brilliantly.
I’d just like to see you get the marks that I get when the amount of time you have is cut in half.