Metaphorically Speaking,

I realise that I haven’t been blogging for a while. It’s not that I don’t have anything to blog about; I think of a hundred things a day to blog about! No, it’s that these days I don’t feel the need to write these things down. It’s not that I don’t have any problems in my life, quite the opposite really. I think I’ve just grown up a little to realise that voicing these problems isn’t going to make them go away. So I’ll just keep them inside.

I guess it’s saddening in a way because I did enjoy writing the insides of my mind to show other people how I thought, to let them into my mind and see who I am. But these days I just don’t have time to blog. Perhaps I could make time but the things I want to write I don’t feel are that important. So they stay snug and safe inside my head and I guess you will never know what they were.

Maybe it’s that I became afraid of writing everything down. Sometimes I felt that the moment I wrote something down about myself it became not part of me. If you share all you’re secrets then what’s left of you? Just a shell of who you are, a shell because everyone already knows every single thing that was once safe inside you. I suppose your secrets are like your own treasure. Once you tell someone that treasure becomes theirs and you can’t get it back. And once all your treasure is gone only the box that it was kept in is left. At least that’s what it felt like for me.

And besides I hate talking about myself all the time! I’m sure you aren’t interested :P

I am back though, even just briefly, because there is an issue that’s bothering me.

I guess I just don’t want to make the same mistake twice. So I won’t. It’s stupid and selfish and I refuse to let myself think that. I’m being ridiculous and immature and I will not let myself hurt anyone because of this. It’s just not going to happen.

I think I am writing this down to make sure that I don’t do this. I am determined not too and by writing it down I’m making my decision even more set in stone. I’m don’t now, it’s just that I can see that it’s not impossible for me not to.

I guess that’s just what I wanted to do.

Besides,
I’m not going to be a vegetarian.

So there.